they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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