I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize