My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
