So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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