Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
