I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
