Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I look better un-naked...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
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he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
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You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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