i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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