Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
