Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
