dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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