The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
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Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
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We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize