tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
This house was built for laser tag.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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