so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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