I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize