if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
