the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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