Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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