Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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