So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My ass is underappreciated
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
