I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
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The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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