Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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