i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
