Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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