i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
