Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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