your thong is hanging out like whoa
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Dignity is for republicans.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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