Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
