You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
