Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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