do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
