Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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