dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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