she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
