Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
