she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
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you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
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Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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