Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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