happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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