So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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