I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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