i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
