dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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