I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize