her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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