i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
