He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize