YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
