Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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