i just wanna soil my oats bro
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
