I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just google imaged poop.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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