Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
