Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
