I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
