Having a random hookup so left but love u
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
