Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
