; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
There r osticjed everywhere
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
