I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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